23 Years Of Love And All I Got Was 'The Best Weekend Ever'

I don't even really know how to begin telling the story of this past weekend.  One of the best weekends of my life.  But I suppose in order to REALLY portray how amazing and perfect this weekend turned out to be... I need to go back.  Way back.  23 years back. To when I first saw Mr Duchovny.  From the first time I saw an episode of the X-Files I was hooked.  I "knew" immediately we were gonna one day be married.  Even though I was 12 and he was 33.  Never mind that he was old enough to legally drink when I was born.  Old enough to totally be my father. (I will be your father figure, put your tiny hand in mine.... Oh wow, I just made that totally creepy.  Moving on...)  But you know... dream big.   I plastered my walls with pictures of him I cut out of magazines.  There was basically no internet back then so it was all old school obsession tactics.  Magazines and TV.   I even joined the X-files fan club.   Oh yeah... super dork.

my nerdiness knows no bounds

I still have my old school diary from when I was 13 (because, hey, who DOESN'T love revisiting those embarrassing thoughts and years) and it is RIDDLED with "I love David D's" and "Steph and David" and gushing about how "fine" he was.   Here is a nice little excerpt from the works:

Totally not embarrassing at all

I've seen almost all of his movies countless time.  Seen every episode of X=Files too many times to count.  Over the years the crush never waned.  Always there.  Always David D as number one.

Cut to maybe two years ago when I see he's announced he's doing a Con. In Pittsburg.  Which I obviously can't go to.  Too far.  Too expensive.  Too everything.  It literally hurt me when I saw all the pictures with him and others that were posted  Not that I wasn't happy for them... but the jealousy was debilitating.  Over the next year or so he did a few more cons, but again, none I could attend.  I kept my fingers crossed that somehow he would attended Dragon Con (which everyone knows is my main event for the year) but so far no luck.

And then, suddenly, my amazing con bestie Lana send me a message and it's just a picture.  Of David.  With an announcement.  New Orleans.  A completely doable drive.  David Duchovny within driving distance of me.  At a con I've attended many times and know the ropes and ins and outs of. But.... it's literally two weeks after Christmas.  I can't do that... it isn't feasible.  Money.  Bad timing.  Blah blah.  Me being Debbie Downer to myself.  Luckily both Lana AND my mother quickly talked some sense into me.  This is a near life long dream.  Could be only opportunity. It's DAVID DUCHOVNY.  You are right, ladies.  How can I NOT?

My wonderful friend Kerry was so marvelous to make the adventure with me.  I can't thank her enough for being there for my trip of a lifetime. And I can't thank her enough for how much happiness she had at seeing my happiness. I know she went on this trip just for me and I love her so much for it.

Tickets purchased.  Hotels reservations made.  Roughly a month until departure.  Cut to me being nervous and sick to my stomach. Basically as a constant.  It was very helpful in my weight loss.  Lost almost five pounds before the trip took place.  Also spent the time basically rewatching anything and everything Duchovny.  And reading his latest book (which I had previously purchased but not read). It really was a great book.  I laughed.  I cried.  A lot of crying.  Very good.

Lots and lots of stressing took place in those weeks leading up to the event.  What if he cancels? What if I get sick? What if the plot of Armageddon starts taking place and we have no real life Bruce Willis to save us? Which is actually ludicrous because we DO have a real life Bruce Willis and I'm sure he could save us.  But you get the idea.

Cut to the day we are set to leave and winter storm "Ruin My Dreams" hits Alabama. Ice everywhere.  Lord have mercy... the one hindrance I didn't think of and it's happening.  Kerry and I set out as soon as possible to try and beat the weather.   For the most part, we did pretty good.  Although there is apparently a very long stretch of road between Tuscaloosa and New Orleans were there is NOTHING. There is less than nothing.  No food.  No fuel.  No bathrooms.  Like a Meghan Trainor amount of no.  By two we are starving so stop at the first signs of life we see. Which is an Arby's.  AN Arby's that is apparently haunted by the movie Frozen because it was as if sheets are ice were being thrown down from the sky.  Even dropping the window to pay for our food was like having someone dump a cup full of ice in your lap. We got out as soon as possible.  Driving down the road eating our food, thinking how happy we are to finally have some.  Cut two half an hour later when we realized we had been poisoned by grease and lard and we both thought we were dying.  Fast food really never is a good idea. Unless you really enjoy feeling as if someone punched you in the guts from the inside.  In which case, knock yourself out.

Driving driving. Worry worry.  Going over all of the possible idiotic things I might do in front of my dream man with Kerry. Faint.  Barf.  Cry.  Fart.  Ramble.  Not speak at all.  Drool.  So many possibilities.   Next thing we know we've finally made it to our first place of sleep a sweet little Bed and Breakfast in the French Quarter.  It really was a great place in a great location and the price was sweet.  The man behind the desk was adorable and he pointed us in the direction of some great food that night.  It was a small walk... in the freezing and rain... but it was worth it.  A place called EAT.  Great food.

Of course I slept NONE that night. Just as the night before that. Too much flying through my mind.  So I officially give up trying at 5 am. 

Never could decide what to wear, but went with this

Kerry and I are ready to go!

We get ready...eat breakfast... I get a little sick from nerves... and then head to our next hotel which is directly by the convention center.  Great location! They let us check in at 830 which is shocking but amazing and we park the car and then head to register for the con.  After an easy registration we walk to get in line.  Kerry bought a general admission tickets and me the David D VIP so we were to be in different lines and enter at different times, BUT as it turns out I get a "plus one" for my VIP so we can both get in early.   SCORE!   We head in and I immediately head to exchange my picture print out for the card I need for the actual photo (not my first con so know the ropes.  Actually I THINK my 14th con but you know). 

David was set to do his first set of autographs at 10.  I didn't want to do my autograph first thing.  I needed time to prepare myself. I wanted to save that for last.  A.) because it was what I was most nervous about and b.) because it would make my time with him last longer throughout the day.  BUT I knew he would have to walk up to his booth so Kerry and I decided to stand around his booth for a bit.  You know... just to talk... whatever... cut to I'm standing facing where his booth is to my right and Kerry is to my left and I am looking at her while she types a text and I am being 100% here but out of nowhere my head snaps to the right as if I just KNEW he was there.... and there he is.  Walking up... not ten feet from me... for the first time in my life I am THISCLOSE to him... all of the last 23 years come rushing to me... and I cease to function.  I patted Kerry's arm to make her look because I couldn't speak.  I don't remember what happened next but Kerry said I turned white as a sheet and fell into her to where she thought I was gonna hit the ground.  Guys.... he was beautiful.  Seriously.  So much thinner than I expected (not that I thought he was fat.  Of course not) and just OMG hurt your eyes make you gasp hot.  Music began to play.  I saw our unborn children flash before my eyes... the world stopped spinning... the whole nine yards. Kerry walked over and snuck a pic for me because I seriously couldn't even function well enough to move my legs.

After a few years... or minutes... I am able to move my legs and breath again so we walk over to Michael Rooker's table so Kerry can meet and get a picture with him.  As we are standing in line again my head is pulled over suddenly by an unknown force of hotness and David is walking directly next to me again.  He must have sensed me staring because he looks over at me and we make eye contact and my body turns to jello.  Magic. Purely so.

My first picture with him is scheduled for 1150 am so I am able to line up at 1120.  Kerry isn't able to wait with me so I am alone with my thoughts for a good thirty minutes.  I can feel the panic setting in.  I'm ashamed to say my pulse was racing like no other. I texted with my mom the whole time. I mean I was gonna TOUCH David Duchovny. It was and still is too much to think about. Next thing I know the line is moving.  And I am fairly close to the front of it so it doesn't take long.  Suddenly I am in the room with him.  Holy crap.  He's right there.  Fox Mulder.  Hank Moody.  He's right there! And then its my turn.  I walk up to him and he does the Hank Moody-esque "Well hello there" smirk and says hello.  I think I died.  I'm pretty sure I did.  I get as close to him as possible (at least as possible as appropriate for a room full of people watching) and they take the picture.  I turn back to him and we make eye contact again and he says something else but I honestly couldn't tell you what.  I was still dead at this point. It's been over 24 hours and I think I still may be. When they hand me my picture I am beyond ecstatic.  It's a good picture! I don't look like a goob.  You can't even tell I was dead.  Amazing!

Cute as hell is what this is

I text my mom all about it while I quickly run over to see Kerry and show her.  I had a picture scheduled for almost immediately after so had to get back in line.  We fan girl out for a moment and then I head back over and get in line.  Again I was near the front.  We walk in pretty much right away and as we are about to enter where Mitch and David are the men behind me are talking about David. Talking about how he looks almost the same and he looks really good but he must dye his hair.  I had to turn to them and agree that yes he does still look amazing.  You are correct gentlemen.  When its the turn for the people in front of me Mitch stops and wipes sweat off of his head and people talk about how hot it is in there to which I hate to bite my tongue to keep from saying "that's all David with the hot". And then they take the picture and then as I walk up David turns to Mitch and says "remember that time..." and they start talking.  I wanted to hear what they were saying but all I could hear was white noise because he was so close to me.  They chat for a moment while I stand there awkwardly staring then they turn to me and I said "Hey" like "hey I'm here" and get between them and David says he's sorry and of course you should never apologize to me David unless it's saying you are sorry that we aren't making out.  Mitch ask how I am and all and then they tell me to have a good day or something close to it and I walk out. Or more like float out really. Sigh.

cuteness

After the photo it's about time to get ready for the panel so we head over to where it will be and watch the end of the Guardians of the Galaxy panel.  Since I was a David VIP I am able to sit in the first three rows (and Kerry is allowed to sit with me yay!).  We get a seat in the second row pretty close to the center.  Awesome seats.  It was a great panel! Funny and just amazing.  Loved every minute of it.  And I got some great pics.

I'm hoping someone videoed the panel so I can watch it again.  It really was a great time.

As soon as the panel is finished it was time to line up for my autograph.  I again felt like a ball of nerves.  This would be my only chance to talk to him.  I'd been wracking my brain for weeks on what I would say to him and I knew when the time came I wouldn't be able to say any of it.  I took out my book hoping I would get the courage to ask him to sign it as well as the 8x10 but knowing that I wouldn't.  (He had said once in the past that if you ever handed him his book he would always sign it... but I didn't want to seem like I was trying to get something for free).  I noticed the person in front of me only got a thanks for coming or something like that and that was it and I so didn't want my time to be like that but I still had nothing.  I walked up and he saw my name and said it out loud (which nearly killed me, let me tell you) and then he signed my 8x10 and then he looks at me and sees me holding the book  and this is how the conversation went:

David: You know I sign all books.

Me: Oh, thanks!

David: Whether you want me to or not.

Me: I really liked it.  It made me ugly cry a little bit, but I really liked it.

David: *laughs as if he has never heard this term before* Ugly cry?

Me: Yeah it was pretty bad.

David: That's funny. Thank you.

End scene. 

Sooooo.... maybe it wasn't anything spectacular but hey! I made David laugh.  And that is something I'll always have. 

And that was may most amazing day ever.  Ever. 23 years of love had led up to this.  And it was worth every single minute.  Every penny.  All of it.  It was the perfect day.  I can't believe it happened.  It meant so much to me I can never explain.  I actually cried (ugly cry) about it this morning as we drove out of new Orleans with just the magnitude of the whole "yeah that happened" of it all.  Happy tears of course.  I regret nothing (other than David and I not already seriously dating from this).  I could never really express how all of it made me feel.  I can only equate it to a dream coming true.  Maybe not a huge life changing dream that made humanity better or anything but a dream all the same.

After the autograph we head out to finally find some food.  We eat, drink, and generally be merry until time to head back for the "Rocky Horror Picture Show".  It was my first time seeing it live AND Barry Bostwick was there (Oh, Brad!) to help get the fun started.  IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! Got hit with rice and toast.  Laughed.  Sang.  Danced.  Loved every minute!!!!

We head back to the hotel... fall into an exhaustion fueled coma and end the day.

Again.... I know this a ridiculous details filled take on the day and says what all happened... but it could never really tell what this trip has meant to me.  I hope to one day meet him again.  Maybe even at Dragon Con this year (fingers crossing now), and I know every single time will make me feel like that nerdy frizzy 12 year old again.. but it will never quite have the magic that this first time did. 

Best.  Weekend.  EVER.