I haven't had anything of remote interest happen to me lately (except the Stomach Virus I had last week... It was terrible, but trust me NO ONE would want to read about that). So I'm taking another old blog and...well not making it new... but making you read it. So enjoy:
In the grand tradition of our awesomeness, Steph and I recently made a trip to Tulsa. Another Hanson-venture if you will. Now it's been a week since this trip so I will do my best to chronicle the events (because as far as 'things can always go wrong when you count the steph's in' this is the best of stories). Hopefully I haven't forgotten too much in the last seven days. The players are the same (who else would be driving 12 hours to see Hanson? No one, that's who.)
The Steph's:
And that's all.
So, our day begins WEEEEELLLL before the sun even considered it a decent hour to make it's grand entrance. Enter me, having only slept about 7 hours total for a 48 hour period. You can imagine my mood. But it's for Hanson, so we perceiver. 
(Make note of how dark it is out. Nope, it isn't night time. This is the time we leave. But hey, Tulsa is a 12 hour drive, makes sense. Off we go.
Most of the trip is pretty boring. A lot of highway and interstate driving. Mostly all we see is eighteen wheeler after eighteen wheeler after eighteen wheeler after... you get the hint. Matter of fact, I took a photo to commemorate the trip and this is what it looked like. 
It's a beautiful view... especially when you are staring at it for 12 hours. Notice how in the photo the trucks are next to each other. This is a game they play all down the highway. Passing each other over and over again while making it impossible to get around them, thus making the trip take twice as long. It's really lovely. Thanks truck drivers of America. Can I please join your Convoy? C.W. McCall tells me it's awesome.
Another fun event in the drive is all of the Double Wide's we passed. And when I say we passed, I mean we rode behind for hours because they took up the whole road. I'm not exaggerating. We must have passed at least five of them. I guess a local trailer park was relocating to greener pastures. I hate double wide's because there are very rare opportunities to pass them and every time one of the opportunities presented itself, the little truck that follows the double wide (you know with the sign that says "oversized load") would pull in front of us so we couldn't get around. I think they must get bored and want to abuse their power. "You think you are going to pass? Just try it buddy! Ride behind us going at least five under the limit! That's what you get! Fear me! I am the Oversized Load Avenger." It's ridiculous.
There was this one interesting Wide Load that we passed. It was very large. Copper. Round. Something strange looking. I looked at it for a few minutes before asking Stephanie what she thought it was, because I couldn't come up with anything. She looks over at it and then says. "I think it's a sailboat." A what? A sailboat? Have you ever seen a sailboat? I wouldn't put that thing on the water and hop on. First of all, it's copper and round and huge. Secondly, there is no sail. "Are you sure that's a sailboat?" "Yeah, that's what it looks like. At least some kind of boat." This is what she was looking at. 
Now let me ask you. Does that look like any sailboat you've ever seen? Maybe a jacked up sail boat... but even that's a stretch. I blame 'road trip' delirium for that.
Now riding in the car and staying awake is a BIG feat, especially when you haven't slept but a few hours in the last couple of days, but I made myself do it. I wanted to stay awake and help steph stay awake while she was driving. Didn't want her to get bored or tired. Well after we stop for gas, I offer to take over driving. It's the least I can do. Taking turns will make the trip easier. I get behind the wheel. Pull back onto the interstate. I changed the CD to something I liked and looked over. Not two minutes have passed since I took over driving and Stephanie has the seat back and is lying in the fetal position with her eyes closed. What!? "I'm not asleep. I'm just resting my eyes." Yeah. Right. After about an hour she starts talking again. "I haven't been sleeping. I was resting." Okay. Yeah. So I started talking about the songs on the radio. Just doing a little test. "This radio station is great. They played 'Wheel in the Sky'".
"Oh yeah, I heard that. I heard you singing."
"Really? Because they didn't play that song."
"Yeah, I was thinking I didn't remember hearing that."
"Okay, Steph, because they DID play that song."
Don't play with the master. Well for the rest of the drive up nothing really happens. At least nothing that I remember so it couldn't have been too interesting.
So we navigate our way through Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma without incident. We make our way to the hotel without getting lost not even once. It's amazing. Can this really be a Steph2 adventure? Surely not. We never go this long without mayhem. After we check in (and might I add our check-in woman was the rudest woman on earth. She was on the phone and said "I have to go, I have to check these people in." Like us being there was SUCH an inconvenience. Geez woman. I'm sorry you hate your job... get a new one. She was lacking in the personality department. She should be a prison guard with her attitude...) Oh back to what I was saying, after we check in we decide to go hunt up some dinner. After driving around for ten lifetimes looking for a place that used to exist but obviously doesn't anymore, we decide on Cracker barrel... cause it's not like you can eat that in Alabama. And OF COURSE, a typhoon hits about that time. We looked like drowned rats. Awesome.
The rest of that night is boring... we went to bed early seeing as how we were exhausted. Blah blah. Good times. Next day... we wake up.. (Steph woke me up at the butt crack of dawn so we could hit up the continental breakfast... she loves those things. I don't think she'd care if they served saltines and ditch water, she'd still be all up in it.) We decide to head to the wal-mart and to get something to eat. We went to the Elephant Bar and Grill and it was okay and THEN headed to the Steak and Shake. I'd never been there before but let me tell you, delicious. Just a bit sweet for my taste. My glucose is STILL probably over 300 from that thing. Still, it was awesome. Wish we had one in the ham. About this time I casually mention to steph (and I actually said this) "I can't write a blog about this trip. Nothing bad has happened. Everything has gone smoothly."
Okay, so at 3oclock we decide to head to the venue so we can pick up our tickets and to make sure we can find the place. And let me just tell you... this venue was in the sketchiest part of Tulsa... I'm talking straight up "On a cold and gray Chicago morn a poor little baby child is born." I was like "Hanson, you must be joking." So we park and try and walk up to the will call and there are like four hundred people in front of the door. News crews are around and it's just a mess. We realize we are never going to get to the door and so we leave. (We must have been in a daze because when I asked steph is she thought that was Hanson they were talking to we both just kind of let it pass and lumber back to the car.) So we decide to go back to the hotel and call the venue to make sure we can pick up our tickets before the show. Steph gets on the phone and some dude answers and she starts with the question and he says "Oh, that show has been cancelled."
"Hanson?"
"Yeah."
"What the HELL FOR!?" Yes, she yells that into the phone. 
"Isaac had a medical emergency."
What???? Are you KIDDING ME!!!?!?!?!?!? We drove 12+ hours and the show is CANCELLED! You must be joking. Surely. Well, no, of course it's true. This IS a steph and steph trip we are talking about. So, yes, we drove to Oklahoma for NOTHING. Awesome. Yes, I have tons of money to burn... oh wait, I don't. (Although I suppose most would consider going to see Hanson in the first place burning money, but I digress...)
Okay, so NOW what are we going to do. We go to the mall for a little while to hit up Eskimo Joe's (and might I say the Kiosk workers here were even worse than the one in Nashville... at one point we crossed to the other side of the walk way to miss one and the woman ran over and followed us to start up with the 'can I ask you a question bit." Yes, I'm not running away from you. I just wanted to see if your product was good enough for you to REALLY try and sell it to me. Good effort. Ask away.") After that we think, well, the fair is in town let's go there. I guess I should call it the Tulsa Un-fair because that's what it was. We get over there about 5:30 and drive around in this unfamiliar town until we find the parking area and pull in... And I know I am prone to exaggeration, but not this time my friend. We circled the parking lot for LITERALLY 45 minutes looking for a parking space... we tried following people to their cars... the whole bit and COULD NOT get a place to park. AWESOME. So, that plan ALSO falls through.
So after circling Tulsa for another hour trying to think of something to do, we give up and go back to the hotel. We go to bed by ten... and that was what we drove to Tulsa for. To eat at Crackerbarrel, go to the mall, and be in bed by ten. Ahh... when life gives you lemons... (wait, life didn't give us those lemons... we paid upwards of 200 bucks for them)
The next day, of course, we drive back. I can't really remember anything about the drive back other than it took forty-seven lifetimes. I don't think anything funny or memorable happened...obviously not since I don't remember anything. We get home... blah blah. We both had to work the next day.
So, in a nut shell... We drive to oklahoma to see Hanson... Hanson cancels the show, we drive back. By the by, Hanson actually had a good reason to cancel the show... Isaac had a pulmonary Embolism and he had to have emergency surgery. It was actually very serious. So we gave him credit for that... after we talked A LOT of smack before we found out what it was... My theory was he attempted another power slide and slid off of the stage. (I forget to mention that he did a power slide at the Nashville show... a power slide that I saw him set up... I thought they were suppose to be spontaneous... but whatev...) I liked that theory... I can just picture the YOUTUBE video of him slamming right off of the stage into an orchestra pit. HILARIOUS. Now that's something I'd pay to see.
On a good note, we still have three more Hanson shows this month, one of which is in Bham! Yes, that's right, after ten years of Hanson love they are finally coming to Alabama!!!! I can't wait!!!! So, if ANY OF YOU know someone who works at workplay we REAAAALLLY need to get backstage. We'd love you forever if you could make that happen. I think that's everything... it's surely enough either way.
Enjoy.... and try not to laugh too hard... although I admit, it is pretty hilarious... Even being the one it happened to, I still have to laugh... We're the Steph's... this is what we do.
And now rejoin your program already in progress.
