*clears throat* Ahem... yes. So... last night was the Birmingham American idol concert. And yes, OF COURSE - dont be ridiculous, I was in attendance. Let me just preface this with.... I freaking love Taylor and if you dont want to hear about my massive lust/love/whateveryouwant to call this I have for Taylor... prolly dont want to ready any further. Okay... and now you know. 
These are the most important of the players. I mean... honestly. (I cant remember if Kat is in this pic, but if she is... she is not included in any of the importance I just spoke of) Okay, so... Im not sure where to start this little story we have here... I mean, if you want the honest truth of the whole matter... it probably starts the sixth time I watched Taylor sing Levon that week of the top 24's performances when I started finding him "oddly" attractive. But I suppose in the interest of saving time...
Ill start from when my mom and dad were on our way to the BJCC and it took us ten lifetimes and a lot of swearing to get parked. (Actually to tell the truth, no swearing was involved because the rents were in the car... which is prolly why I got so angry... I couldnt drop any bombs and we all know how cathartic that is) Why is it that when you take a normal everyday run of the mill person and place them in a car that they become a giant ball of nonsensical/selfish-ridden/idiotsoaken stupidity. Myself included. I tend to yell a lot at my passengers when I am behind the wheel in a battle called "Im going next biotch". It was ridiculous. I had ten birthdays in the time it took to drive 15 feet. We arrive at the BJCC at like 5:45 and didnt get into the venue until almost seven... what a load. Let me just tell you.... my mood was VERY foul by the time I got in to sit down. I could have killed people... unfortunately I didnt run into Kat McPheces...
Okay so anyway... we sat...waited on the show to start... blah blah snore bore drone... nothing really happened during that span of time. But I did forget to mention that one Corey Clark was in the parking lot selling his CD out of the trunk of a car... seriously. He actually WAS there. Very sad how the never will never was mighty have not so much fallen as... tripped.
Okay, so, first was Mandisa. She was awesome. Seriously. That girl can SING. For the third of her songs ACE came out for a duet. Ah... Ace. He may be a pretty boy and he may be boy-bandish but... whew! Hes hot. Man... very hot. When he did Father Figure (a personal fave song of mine) it was... well fill in the blank there but it WAS. Yeah... Ace? Call me. After Ace was Lisa. I didnt care for her on the show, but I must say this. SHE WAS GREAT! She really was. The Elton John medley she did was so good. Not to mention the girl is gorgeous. I like to think we look a lot alike. Truly. After Lisa was Paris. Cute. Okay, after Paris... BUCKY! Yay! Bucky! I love ol Bucky. I dont care what any of you say. Bucky is great. He was fantastic and so cute!!! I just think hes great. The woman in front of us heard us yell for Bucky and she turned and said, "No! Not Bucky! Yall cant like Bucky!" Um... yes we can, and we do. Cause hes awesome. And you are mean and... stupid. I thank you. On a little random rant here.... here is a pic of Bucky doing... well I have no idea what hes doing. But look at this and tell me 
that he doesnt look like he came out of barrel of monkeys. Totally right? Very hilarious. Glad I managed to capture that on film. Speaking of primates... what is it that Ace is doing here? His best impression of a gorilla squat?
I swear Im not into bestiality. Dont know where all of these monkey thoughts have come from. (On the animal note though, doesnt Taylor remind you a big a big bear?)
Okay, cutting to the chase here. After Bucky was Kellie. She only sang two because of her recent sickness. See Katherine? Only took her 3 shows to recover from laryngitis when it took you THREE WEEKS... hmm... interesting. Maybe Kellie had better antibiotics. Even weirder that after Kellies sickness her boobs didnt get bigger like with Kats... strange.
Okay... after Kellie was intermission. This is a point where things got slightly interesting. And by interesting I mean annoying. Of course. My glass is always half full... its just half full of buttermilk. And really, who actually likes butter milk? Just kidding... lifes great. Blah blah, hug a tree, kiss a kitten. We went up stairs to the merchandise stand because I swore I wasnt leaving that place without a Taylor button to wear to work. Yes thats right. A Taylor button. And I dont care what you say. Ill be the coolest kid in the sandbox. Anyhow, we stood at the merchandise stand for fifteen sundays. I mean... what the hell? I can understand how maybe one person could be invisible, but three!? The cueball selling the stuff kept helping everyone around us, but never us. It was crazy annoying. I kept telling Stephanie she wasnt showing enough cleavage. I mean, really, work that out! I want a button! It was funny. This teen kid boy behind us looked at me and said, "What? Are they only helping hookers?" It was hilarious. Apparently he was right. It took forever. Finally, he asked Steph what we wanted and she told him a program (for me because its easier than just setting 20 dollars on the ground and throwing a lit match at it), an ace button (for steph) and a Taylor button (me again) and a Bucky button for my mom. Yes, thats right. She loves her some Bucky. Well, when steph said she wanted a Bucky button the guy said, "Bucky!? Really?" She assured him, yes, thats what we want. And he yells over his shoulder, Guess were gonna have to open a box of Bucky pins!" How sad!!!! No one loves Bucky! Well ppl are just dumb, thats what I think.
Okay, we get back to our seats just as the lights go back out. Perfect timing. Okay, so first after intermission is Chris. Im not the biggest Chris fan, but he really rocked. He did. It was good. (Thats for you Melissa... I know how you love some Mr. Daughtry) 
Also, Chris actually said TO TAKE OUT YOUR CELL PHONES... Im guess Chris has been to a shinedown show. Thank god thats all he took from them... I couldnt have handled a group therapy session from Mr. My eyes tell you how much I want to kill you when I look at you. It would have been too much. Not only did he say take our your phone once... he said it again later. Ugh.... whats up with rock stars these days. They dont make em like they used to.
Okay, Elliot and Chris did a duet then Elliots set. After Elliots set the boys returned (all but Taylor) and did a personal long time favorite of Stephs and mine "Patience". Great song. They sounded good. Okay... I wont go into details about the next act, because I dont know any. I didnt listen. It was Kat... and we all know... I LOATHE her. So... maybe we yelled a little about how much she sucks... and maybe stephanie was reading out of the program really loud and maybe she yelled "OH GOD!" when Kat started singing "Over the Rainbow" but I dont think it warranted the "Stop Booing" we got from the two foot tall rude dude in front of us. He was the size of a hobbit. Seriously. I mean, when his wife arrived, I thought she was alone and then she pulled him our her pocket and sat him on the chair. And the worst part about it was, the guy thought he was a badass. Thinking again PeeWee. Go back to your playhouse or shut-up. How do you like me now?
Okay, so... yeah... basically... Taylor always starts his set from somewhere out in the audience. He comes in from out there to jailhouse rock. Well, during the show, earlier in the evening I pointed up a bit and said, "Wouldnt it be cool if Taylor came in from right there, cause then hed walk right by us." And my mom says, "Yeah, it would be cool, but hell come in from the back, not from there." Yeah... its fate man... He came in RIGHT BY US. It was awesome!!! I couldnt have been more high if Id smoked a big fat one. (Which Ive never done, just for the record and never will. I listened in DARE class... and I watched those commercials for the more you know. Peace) I mean, it was more of a high than the contact high I got at snoop. It was amazing. God I loves him. Loves him a lot. His set was PHENOMENAL. In a word. I cant even remember much of it because I was just so so excited. I mean... Ive NEVER felt anything like the excitement I felt last night when he was out. I could have died. So... yeah... bit of a taylor geek here. Dont care who knows it. Hes the bomb ladies and gentlemen. Plus... he looked so incredibly I cant believe its not butter melt your face hot. Totally. Have I mentioned I love him?? He danced, sang, played tambourine, (which for some reason when my dad was recreating the sound a tambourine makes later in conversation said "wompa wompa". What kind of broken ass tambourine did he play with in music class?) danced some more and then he did this sneaky face 
(looks mischievous and sexy... he gave me that same look later....) when he was about to play the harmonica. He was looking at us like "do you want me to play?" Coincidently, when he gave me that look later, he was asking the same question. God it was amazing. And the answer... an astounding yes.
Which brings me to my next point... look friends... I must meet this man. It HAS to happen. I just wont die happy if it doesnt. So, look, if you are EVER in the situation where you think this might possible maybe could happen or maybe you meet someone who could make it happen or you just have the thought it might... think of me. Id forever be in your debt. Hey, food for thought there.
Did I mention there were larger than life size poptarts walking around the venue? Not sure if I did. But they were. Oh yes... they were. Gotta love life. When it gives you giant walking poptarts... don't be afraid to point and laugh your ass off.
So, that was my American idol experience. All in all, it was great. Four out of five stars. (Taylor gets twenty stars all my himself though for the show and the after show... heh) Amazing. Four our of five dentist agree. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. I loved it. I cant wait until Taylor does a solo tour. Oh yes... Ill be there. In the front row if ebay has anything to say about it... better start saving now. 
This just added (it's from our show of course):
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